The Truth About Follow / Unfollow

The Truth About Follow / Unfollow

the spark show Aug 12, 2020

Welcome to The Spark Show! In this episode, I talk about the truth behind follow / unfollow. 

I cover: 

- The top 3 actions you should be taking on Instagram to attract followers, brands and clients

- The #1 thing you should NOT be doing on Instagram 

- How to be super productive on Instagram 


First, let’s talk about Instagram as a platform and the action you should be taking on it. Instagram is a social media platform. The keyword here is “social” - it is about creating connection. It’s about connecting, not collecting.

People are so obsessed with followers these days. They get mad when someone unfollows them. They get upset when someone follows them today and unfollows them tomorrow. 

I want you to know that this is going to happen and the first thing you should do is to let go of the control, because you can’t control other people. You can’t control their actions and what they choose to do. No one is under contract here to follow you just because you followed them and if they follow you, they have to follow you forever.  

The people I see who have the most challenging time with social media are the control freaks. I know because I was one of them. I probably still am now but I’m working on it. 

The moment you detach from expectation, the easier and more fun this journey is going to be for you. And, if you’re in it for the long run, it’s time to start accepting that this is part of it. 


Why People Follow People On Social Media

I want you to ask yourself this the next time you’re on Instagram and you follow someone. Why did you follow them? 

I follow people because I like their content, I like their personality, I like who they are as a person. I connect with them in some way, they’re relatable to me. I unfollow people when I don’t like their content anymore or I just don’t want to keep seeing them on my feed. 

And, that’s okay. Nothing lasts forever. You can’t expect for people to stay forever. 

It’s the same thing in your audience’s perspective. They will follow you if they like your content, they like your personality and who you are, if you’re relatable. They won’t really know you exist unless they find you through search or the explore page, OR if they see that you interacted with them. 

If you take a look at your notifications on Instagram, you get notified when someone likes your posts, comments on your posts and when someone follows you. Those are the three types of actions you should be taking on Instagram to attract your ideal followers, brands and customers. 

You do have to manually target your ideal audience based on the accounts they follow, the hashtags they use and the locations they tag. If you do this, they will see the actions in their notifications and most likely will check out your account. Then, if they like your content and what you put out there, they have the choice to follow you back. 

When they do follow back, some people unfollow. I don’t do that because I don’t follow people just to unfollow them after they follow me. That’s when it gets shady. I only follow people who I genuinely want to see more of their content. Now, it doesn’t mean I have to follow them forever, or vice versa, if their content changes and no longer resonates. But, there’s a difference between connecting and collecting followers. 

Now, if they don’t follow you back, you do have the option to keep following or not, it really depends. The point is - everyone has a choice and there is no point getting upset about it. I’m all about, if it’s meant to be, it will be. You will attract the right people who will want to follow you. 

You don’t want people following you anyways that will not engage with your content because that will just bring your engagement rate down.  

The #1 thing you should be doing on social media is connecting, creating relationships based on mutual core values, but that means you actually have to be sharing your story and telling people about you and not just posting superficial stuff. 


How to be Productive on Instagram

A lot of us have done this before: we get on the app to post, engage and then 3 hours later, we’re like, “OMG, where did the time go???” 

What I like to do is be super intentional about my time on Instagram. First of all, I do the pre-work first and make sure my targeting is all set. This is what I teach inside The Spark Society in our Instagram course, how to make sure you know who your target audience is and how to find them. 

Once you do that, you’ll engage with both your followers and non-followers when you’re in the app. I like to set a timer for myself or practice time blocking so I’m not spending hours and hours on Instagram without a strategy or a plan in place. 

When I’m on Instagram, I’m doing it to connect with my followers and my target audience. I find that my most successful students, who are doing this consistently for 1-2 hours per day, are growing at an average of 500-1,000 followers per month. But, I do have students who are growing more than that, one just grew by 3,000 followers in one month. 

It’s really important to have a growth strategy in place plus a growth mindset of abundance where you’re not putting unrealistic expectations and having these beliefs that are just going to stress you out. 

Following is the best strategy for growth on Instagram if done in a right, strategic way. Unfollowing is going to happen for many reasons and it’s okay! You’re going to unfollow people too and that’s okay too. 

The sooner you adapt this growth mindset, the more fun Instagram will be for you. 

Let people do what they’re gonna do. 

Let the right people come to you. 

Let it be about connecting to people. 


Listen to the full episode here: 





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Listen to Previous Episodes: 

Building a Body Positive Community featuring Danni Adams

How to Create a Morning Routine for Success

How to Balance Life as a Momtrepreneur featuring Suzy Ashworth

Brand Deals 101: From Collabs to Sponsorships

How to Start Your Influencer Business from Scratch


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